My goal for the new year…BE SCARED. This is not too hard for me. Most things scare me. Pushing through the fear is the hard part. I pushed through some in 2011. I’m going to try even harder in 2012.
The first thing that comes to mind when I think about pushing through the fear in 2011 is my recent move. My husband accepted a job in Seattle. So, a couple days before Thanksgiving we all moved from Baltimore to Seattle. We left a wonderful family and tons of amazing friends. I left everyone I train and race with. I get choked up just thinking about it. The night before a race will never be the same.
The other fear that comes to mind is the fear of the distance. I competed in my first half iron distance triathlon in 2011. The Mountaineer. It was brutal. I trained harder than I ever had. It put a lot of stress on me, mentally and physically. It was also hard on my family. My husband made a lot of sacrifices. He’s a fabulous husband. I trained and trained and trained. I felt pretty good going into it. I was scared but felt prepared.
Race weekend arrived. My mom watched our kids and Brian and I drove to West Virginia. We checked into the hotel and went to packet pick up. It was a really small race. There was no expo or anything. Pretty mellow and I was fine with that. There had been some problems with the bike course due to a mudslide so we decided to drive the course. HUGE mistake. I was shaking i was so scared. The hills were insane. I wanted to pack my bags and go home. I didn’t think there was any way in the world I could finish. Turns out it was 6700 ft of elevation gain. My legs hurt thinking about it.
In the end, I finished. It took me FOREVER. 5 hours on my bike. Maybe the slowest 13.1 miles in the history of running. But I finished. And I was the only one in my AG to finish. I even got a 1st place award.
One of my proudest moments was crossing the finish line. I should add that they were taking it down when I finished, but I was still proud.
Enough of 2011. We are on to 2012. Here are my goals to push through the fear:
- Try Bikram yoga. I will do this in January. I’m terrified. I get claustrophobic just thinking about being in a hot room for 90 minutes. Not to mention I’m the least flexible person in the world.
- Actually race my races. I’m afraid of going too fast and hitting a wall. I should really pick a race and just plan to DNF. Go as hard as I can and see what happens. We will see…
- Join a running or triathlon club. I need to make some friends here. That seems like a great way. I can’t possibly replace my training partners in Baltimore but I can find some to fill in.
I’m sure I’ll have more as the year goes on.